dreamz

just had a weird weird dream..i was actually reciting a poem..which is weird..what's even more weird, it was those kinda cheezy lovey-dovey kinda poem...but that's not the end of it...i was reciting it.......in mandarin

in mandarin!? everyone knows that my chinese is terrible, but somehow in my dream i was able to recite a whole poem...a love poem!? must be all the hongkong serials i'd been watching...now it's affecting my dreams..damn...

but i know what's the real reason, it's getting closer and closer to september..one year ago..i did something really really stupid...something which was totally uncharacteristic...in actual fact, the whole of last year up till september, i was doing stupid stupid things..it had never occured to me that i could actually do those things..why i did it...i dunno..but i know it was a terrible time for 2 people.

now as i approach the time i'm going to depart for aussie, i'm thinking more and more abt the issue..i made a promise during that time, i've been thinking alot whether i can fulfill that promise i made...actually it wasn't a promise, it was more like a pact. hopefully i can resolve it before i leave, it has been a knotty issue that has always been in the back of my head...

earggghhh!!!!!!! i'm supposed to have gotten over and had let go of it......because i haven't deserved it...